Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
