Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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