i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
