the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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