Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
