I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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