I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
