you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
