I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
