i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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