We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
