how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
