i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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