and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
