hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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