i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize