4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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