We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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