his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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