We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
