omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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