I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
