Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
