Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
