I want to stick my p in your. b.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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