all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
