Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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