not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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