Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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