the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
