i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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