During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
