there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
