Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
His nipple licking is glorious
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