Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
