my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
