You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
