Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
