You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
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i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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