cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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