i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
