Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
