kristin has been a bad kristin
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
