He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
