why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
