I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize