I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
