I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I did not marry a roomba.
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