We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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