I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
