Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
