The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
