Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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