its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
