i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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