Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
