i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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