He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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